So, it's September 2nd. Now what does that me, children? Yes (not to patronise anyone of course), it means that there's only one year left until I'm 18. 17 is a bit of a pointless age I feel and there should probably be more stuff associated with it like being able to steal oranges from market stalls or something like that . When I'm 18, I shall party from midnight til midnight but for now, I'll just marvel in the fact that I now have an older label (that of being a seventeen year old) than most of my close friends.

However, today'll definitely be a marked point in "The Lifetime of Hazel". Tomorrow, I'm going off to college and though I don't start lessons until the 15th, it'll still feel like the first day. Over the last couple of days, There have been some major problems with my Mum which I'm sure anyone who knows me well enough will be able to either a) figure out or b) ask me via a communication mechanism.

I shall now in an orderly fashion, describe to you things that have been happening to me this summer.

This may accidentally turn into a mini journal essay.

It is 20 past 3 after all.


Duke of Edinburgh expedition

To be honest, there's not much to say about the expedition. There was a lot of walking that took place (as you might imagine). The day before the expedition we stayed in a Youth Hostel (where I became undisputed queen of table football. A title than was then relinquished on the last night in the youth hostel where I failed miserably). We also went to the town/village/hamlet of Bakewell where I bought an authentic Bakewell tart, almost stole some Soor Plooms and went into a Parlour Tea room and had a home made biscuit and some hot ribena (with plenty of doileys).

To be honest, I think the thing that made the expedition worthwile was having Fiona there to go crazy with. I'm not at all sure what I'd have done without her. If you see this Fiona, thanks

I was also helped by Tangfastics, Sprite and Hiking socks. God bless them.

Do it 4 real

In case I haven't told anyone quite yet, Do it 4 real was an adventure holiday in the Peak District, in almost exactly the same place my Duke of Edinburgh expedition was (between the White Peak and the Dark Peak).

To be honest, there wasn't as much stuff there as I thought there'd be. Two of the four days days were spent either walking/orienteering or doing survival skills like fire making. Not that I'm averse to these things but that's not really what I went there for. This was sort of made up for as the last two days were caving and abseiling (which are two things I'm *very* keen on even though basically no one else in the group was) and a trip to Alton towers (I've never been there before so twas good fun).

The best part of it was probably the people there. If you'd have asked me right before, I would have told you have frikkin nervous I was about "being accepted" and all that malarky. Luckily, all the ultra chavvy people WERE IN A DIFFERENT GROUP TO ME!!! There were some really awesome people in my group and, unfortunately, it doesn't look like I'll be able to contact many of them on a regular basis, which is a shame. They were so cool and I'm glad they all semi-appreciated my strangeness and I had a fellow Grammarschoolian there to make me feel not so much of an ultra-boff (love you Zoe ). I also got very molested hair as I usually do. It was straightened and I had make up put on me on the last day. Unfortunately, as I don't have the contacts of anyone who took the pictures, I can't show you.

We also had the funniest climbing/caving instructor ever. I'm sure I can explain further later.

Laurie (younger brother) didn't have a good time which angered me after such a good week. People had drawn a penis on his face, put glue in his hair and generally abused him. I met one of the culprits at the Swindon depot and she kept bitching about him for ages behind his back and then finally said to me "Who are you?"... His sister... "I feel so sorry for you for having a brother like that. Maybe you should teach him how to be good"

To which I replied "Maybe your sibling should teach you how to not talk shit about people"

To which she looked SO offended and whispered under her breath "shut the fuck up". She then wandered past me when I was on the coach and said to me "Fucking slapper" and spent the first 10 minutes of the coach journey bitching about me. Now! Who spots cowardice? The sheer amount of time she spent talking about my brother behind my back, I was perfectly ready for a fight (of words ). She just had a yellow belly.

Results

Don't look if you aren't actually interested.

Two of my grades are not here as I apparently didn't sit the ICT paper (B) and the German grade was "unusually low" (A) according to my German teacher. God, I hope that was a mess up, otherwise I just phailed.

I got an A* in English, Science, Additional Science, History and Maths. Ya know, the boring academic subjects.
I got a B in English Literature and Music.

No A's, unfortunately . What a phailure.

LARP

Yay! Larp! IN HINDSIGHT, it went a whole lot better than I thought it would. There are some very humourous anecdotes that none of you would get. Didn't achieve much but I had a laugh which is always the aim.

Other things what I have done

I went up to York. This was great fun as I got to see friends and had a fantastic time. Do feel a bit bad about completely failing on the social side though. Then went to Leeds and saw grandparents and watched Finding Neverland (which was really good)

I went to see Simon Amstell - which was a great night out and he was really funny.

I went to see the Lion King - which was also great night out and was really amazing to watch.

I went to Nandoes with some friends and had a few stay afterwards for the night for early birthday celebrations - which was crazy and also quite nice and sweet at the same time. Felt really ill afterwards.

I passed my Grade 5 piano with a score nearer merit than fail

Films what I have watched

See! Now you're starting to hope I HADN'T updated you because it's 20 past 2 and I'm going to just go on and on and on.

Batman: The Dark Knight - Everyone and anyone should watch this. It is a fantastic piece of film work and so goddamned clever. It was too long but it was worth it whenever Heath Ledger came on as the joker. I am still of the utmost opinion that before his face got blown off, harvey Dent looked like a pr0n star.

Sweeney Todd: Zomg, I love Sweeney Todd. The artistry is just really amazing and the songs are fantastic. It's also quite interesting to note that neither Helena Bonham Carter or Johnny Depp had really sung before.

There were some pretty crap films that I watched as well but they're not worth mention.

It's 5:37 now, and I'm going to try to get to bed. I've probably missed something out actually. Sorry if I have.

Hope you enjoyed my uber-essay about my summer.

Nim (?)